Miinkay is a coach, bodyworker, and professional listener. In her newsletter she share life's lessons and encourages you to keep moving past whatever obstacle you're facing.
Closing Out the Year with More Empathy
I missed you last month. Even though writing a newsletter was on my mind, in the end I decided I needed time to reflect instead of write. So that's what I did. November was a month of endings for me. I've decided to close my LLC and move to a sole proprietorship while I process the evolution of my business. I learned a TON of things about myself in therapy and decided to take a break to integrate and work on some emotional blocks solo.
Most of what I've worked through is the pressure I put on myself to be "productive", do and achieve. I'm reparenting myself - reassuring younger me that I don't need to do more than what is needed. How to tell when she's doing enough. And that she is loved no matter how much or how little she does. She is loved just for being her.
It has been 5 months of reparenting myself and the transformation is palpable.
I no longer have an underlying sense of unhappiness as long as I visit younger me.
I can hear my intuition more clearly.
Things that are not in alignment with me are easier to spot and say no to.
I've let go of a few people pleasing tendencies:
- Not charging people who cancel or reschedule same day. Thanks to a friend and therapy I'm now comfortable charging and saying no to clients more often.
- Undercharging. I'm raising my rates soon and now actually feel good charging people for my services.
- Feeling guilty for resting. I'm not perfect, sometimes I feel the need to be productive. But most weekends and evenings I'm able to rest and truly rest. I don't feel bad taking time off and I use my time off more wisely.
Yes there are more layers to uncover. I am not done, but I am encouraged. Encouraged that life will get better. That I can be happier and that I don't have to do it alone.
What I'm most proud of is my dedication to reparenting daily. I've never spent so much time on my emotions as I have in the last 5 months. Asking myself daily - how are you? Sitting with myself when I'm not ok, when I have fear, when I am self-critical or anxious. It's hard work and I'm tired, but grateful.
Through this experience I know I've deepened my empathy. On the outside, I look the same. But on the inside I've made some major shifts. I've reinforced the knowledge that you can never know what's going inside someone. There might be a battle, underlying dissatisfaction, or other limiting belief that is bringing someone down from the inside. And they might not even understand it. So all I can do is have patience and empathy for others in every moment of every day.
Miinkay Yu
Miinkay is a coach, bodyworker, and professional listener. In her newsletter she share life's lessons and encourages you to keep moving past whatever obstacle you're facing.
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